Tuesday, June 15, 2004
Confession
Previously on "My World":
This probably won't blow over until I explain a few things. I've liked her for a while, blah blah blah, but I've never had the chance to tell her. Well, I've had many times to say this, probably the most opportune moments. Times when I'm by myself with her talking about things, but I've never had the guts to tell her. I really, really, regret not doing this. I don't think it would have mattered (as much) that she didn't care, or didn't want anything to do with me. I had the horrible feeling that me exposing (such a lovely word) myself to her would cause our friendship to be fucked in the ass and twisted sideways. Well, not only this, but she is hot, and half the guys at my school did their very best to hit on her as much as possible. Just... I don't know. I have no real reason as to why I didn't do it.
I think what made matters worse was that she left dripstone to go to casuarina, which a) left me with no contact with her as I don't like using a phone and without being able to talk on the phone (she doesn't answer when I do call it), I don't get to see her. And b) made me realise that I'm going to be stuck with this "horrible" secret until I find a way to tell her, and frankly, I don't think I'll find a way to. This has probably triggered this post, and why I'm doing it on the internet (anonymously :-D).
I hadn't seen her for around 4 months, and you know, I've been trying to get over her. Well at least my best to anyway. Then I saw her for the first time the other day. She was driving one way, I the other (hehe, me driving!). I realised then, I really do miss her. Like, really really. At points in my life I hate her, at other times, I miss her. I really have a dislike for emotions at the moment. So I believe I'm going to give up on the other gender and not worry about having a relationship. That's right, I'm going to be a bachelor for the rest of my life.
I think one of the main reasons as to why I did this was that if she does happen to come on MSN, I'd normally be there and she may even see this link. So who knows. (The fan will hit the shit once that happens :-P)
- I told the internet that I liked a girl
- You know her name now.
This probably won't blow over until I explain a few things. I've liked her for a while, blah blah blah, but I've never had the chance to tell her. Well, I've had many times to say this, probably the most opportune moments. Times when I'm by myself with her talking about things, but I've never had the guts to tell her. I really, really, regret not doing this. I don't think it would have mattered (as much) that she didn't care, or didn't want anything to do with me. I had the horrible feeling that me exposing (such a lovely word) myself to her would cause our friendship to be fucked in the ass and twisted sideways. Well, not only this, but she is hot, and half the guys at my school did their very best to hit on her as much as possible. Just... I don't know. I have no real reason as to why I didn't do it.
I think what made matters worse was that she left dripstone to go to casuarina, which a) left me with no contact with her as I don't like using a phone and without being able to talk on the phone (she doesn't answer when I do call it), I don't get to see her. And b) made me realise that I'm going to be stuck with this "horrible" secret until I find a way to tell her, and frankly, I don't think I'll find a way to. This has probably triggered this post, and why I'm doing it on the internet (anonymously :-D).
I hadn't seen her for around 4 months, and you know, I've been trying to get over her. Well at least my best to anyway. Then I saw her for the first time the other day. She was driving one way, I the other (hehe, me driving!). I realised then, I really do miss her. Like, really really. At points in my life I hate her, at other times, I miss her. I really have a dislike for emotions at the moment. So I believe I'm going to give up on the other gender and not worry about having a relationship. That's right, I'm going to be a bachelor for the rest of my life.
I think one of the main reasons as to why I did this was that if she does happen to come on MSN, I'd normally be there and she may even see this link. So who knows. (The fan will hit the shit once that happens :-P)
posted by jarryd at
6/15/2004 11:47:00 AM
Awwww Jarraldo! You're too cute! Thats so sweet that you miss Kat! I mean....well...its just beautiful! And, i think that its a fantastic idea that you are linking it in your screen name, so she can read it if she comes online. But, that said, i still think that you should just come out and tell her. It will make you feel so much better! It will be HELLA hard to say it, but once you do...you will feel LOADS better! PROMISE!
1:47 PMOh yeah, i decided before, as i was hanging out the washing, that I am going to call you Billy from now on. I like it better than Jarryd or Jarraldo. And plus, you won't answer to Willy (which is a stupid name anyway) but yeah, Billy is cool! You'll groow to love it! :)
Anyways, im off like the milk!
*~*Taz*~*
xxx
Telling her would probably be the best, but ugh, being shy = sucks.
1:50 PMBILLY! Just tell her! You are SOOOOO the LEAST shy person I know...if you were in fact shy, would you have screamed at that fat bitch that Nick-Nick works with and called her a carrot-cake, coz no one likes carrot cake? I think not!
5:02 PMI'm only shy around certain people, people like Katerina.
5:06 PMWell....work on it. Talk to yourself in the mirror! Pretend tht you are Katerina! Your family will think you are insane, but they already think you are strange. Is it such a big leap from strange to insane? :) Just try and think of her as being a friend, not someone you want to fuck! When you tell her, pretend that you are talking to me. Like...tell yourself, that you are practising what you will say to her! But, it wont be a practise run...it will be real! Am i making sense? Im basically trying to tell you, that you have to try and be natural around her, and not shy. Coz, you are open enough to tell me when your balls are getting squished, or itchy or whatever! So, just, be yourself darlin!
5:13 PM>_<, too hard! I'll work on it I'm sure.
5:15 PMPost a Comment
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