Well, as it turns out, I managed to get today off because I was kind of feeling sick. Well, it was more like my bones and stuff were hurting really, really badly and I couldn't be bothered going to school. Normally when I'm home sick, it goes like: get up, have a shower, say I'm not feeling well, go back to sleep, sleep for about an hour or two (depending on how sick I am), mum would normally wake me up in the middle of my sleep saying she is going to work, blah blah blah. Then I'd get up after half an hour or something, go and watch TV. TV then becomes boring, so I go down and turn on the computer and play there. What else am I to do? Sit around and watch TV for 9 hours until my mum comes home and then I can do something else? No! TV ends up getting boring too quickly and I become uncomfortable on the chairs (they are too small for me to stretch out on), so I do the next viable option, go and play some sims 2 or counterstrike. My parents don't see it like that, they see it as I happen to get up only half an hour after mum leaves (I wonder why, she WAKES ME FROM MY SLEEP) and the computer seems to be turned on 15 minutes after that.

So the weekly argument about how much I do play on the computer (which is never much when I get time to do what I want to do) happens the moment dad comes home and finds me home from school. The instant that he finds out he thinks he is going to be all sleuth style and find out when I turned the computer on. I don't know what he thinks he is going to succeed in doing by finding out when I turned it on, maybe he thinks that I'll lie about when I turned it on. Never works, I normally agree with him about the time and ignore him until he gets sick of me not listening. Then of course, it's like a friggin' chain reaction from there. Because I wasn't at school, dad feels that mum should know I turned on the computer early and then she will be "disappointed" and shit like that, and then dinner will be a bitch because I have to sit next to my dad (don't have to, but it's my seat, and he chooses to sit next to me). Of course he will be more disappointed in me because I turned on the computer and was on the internet (welcome to the technological age, faggot). So things escalate from there, going from a quick dinner (as they normally are) to dad being "so" pissed off that he does the washing up, and because Survivor was on tonight, I wanted to watch that, but nooo, mum didn't want another episode like before. So I've officially given up on my family, and I couldn't care less whether or not they all die at once.

I know now that I'm not going to bother celebrating my birthday (with anyone, including my parents), because I know that the stuff that I've asked for from my parents (a dvd burner, and I was going to ask them for a new keyboard/mouse) is going to go to waste because they want me to have nothing to do with computers. So fuck them in the ass, I'll just work all the holidays (I know I won't, but I can pretend like I want to) and get money so I can buy it. Thinking about it now, I should "sabotage" my dad's computer into making it fail miserably (or maybe a hardware failure, like maybe a screwdriver jammed in the power supply..) and that he would be force into not being able to use the computer and he would have to rely on mine, and of course I'm going to say "get fucked" because I can.

I can see that other (real) people's view towards me is nothing short like my parents. My parents see me as someone that is constantly on the computer (to a degree that is true, but.. whatever, I don't have to argue why not) and that I know everything about anything regarding computers. This doesn't fall short to what other people think of me, I'm sure, because at school I'm the kid who other kids send to when teachers ask why something isn't working, or why they can't get into certain websites. As if I give a shit about your problems? Why do I want to be bogged down with your complaints about how the government runs their server? But fuck me, the majority of what I say to them is coming from my ass, or from google. So in other words, I'm just repeating whatever I've searched google for, normally their exact wording of their question. What is worse now, is that people have start to come to me for their music troubles, some questions I can kind of deal with, like what client they should use to get music, and I normally reply with the almost extinct P2P client KaZaa. Normally that will bait them away, but people that ask me about where I get movies from, shit me to tears. Jesus, have you people not heard of how google works? If you don't google how google works. Much easier than me trying to explain about torrents and IRC.

Take for example about the music. I can deal with a few songs here and there, you know, download some old kind of song (which I'd probably have anyway) and burn that and songs from another cd onto another cd, but when people start asking me to download a few hundred songs (yes daryl, this is you) and then expect me to drop everything I'm downloading then (which is normally nothing so far) or stop playing a game so I can use my internet and download you some songs. If they didn't have access to the internet or a computer then I'd have only a little regret about doing it, but when they have computers galour around, including unlimited dialup (not all that bad), then I get pissed off at me having to waste my time (and even study time) by doing it when they can. Now I'm the kid who can get certain songs off cds and burn it to a CDR for people I barely talk to anymore, all because I know a little about how to do most of it, and I'm sure if those with computers actually tried, they could google how to do something and do it themselves.

Well haven't these few posts been a mouth full, and I have a lot more to come as this year winds down to a complete stop. I can sense things becoming more tense around school and home as another year of school slowly dies into existence, but certain people are going to have to get over the fact that my moods can change in an instance and that things can turn from good to worse in a matter of milliseconds.